When a friend texted me to ask how things in Cannes were going and I explained that I was averaging about 3 or 4 hours sleep a night, they assumed I’d completed my transformation into the ultimate festival party queen, hitting one social event after another because I’m entirely too glamorous for sleeping. Of course, anyone who really knows me knows that i am far too uncool for any of that, and while it’s true that there has been a certain amount of alcoholic mingling, the real reason for the lack of sleep is that there simply isn’t enough time. For anything. Seriously.
How do these people do it? The Cannes connoisseurs catch the 8.30am screenings and have their review polished and published by midday, ready for the next film in line. Rinse and repeat. Meanwhile, I’m frantically trying to string two sentences together while moping around because I’m going to miss the afternoon film, will be late for my interview because of ambling tourists on the Croisette and have heard that the line at the Salle Debussy tonight is going to be really long. Sigh.
I’d already learned from past experience that you’ll stray from your carefully constructed schedule but I thought I’d made mine fairly foolproof. As it turns out, I could have thrown it out of the window on the plane here for all the good it’s done. Of course, there’s the slight possibility that I could benefit from being more disciplined and less distracted by, well, everything, but Cannes is a spectacle so I’m sure I can be forgiven. After all, it’s a learning curve and that’s what this workshop is all about: helping us grow as critics.
But if anybody’s got some of that glorious thing called time going spare, send it my way, yeah?